Well...I have done it. I have started something (actually a few things) I thought I would never, ever do if you spoke to me perhaps one or two years ago. First...I have decided to place my "career" on hold as a full time teacher to be a stay-at-home-mom for at least a year (I took a one year unpaid leave of absence). Second...I have started a "blog". Oh my! Let's be honest too...I really didn't even know what a "blog" was until about 5 years ago and even then I knew the term but never really followed any. Why the hesitations you may ask to becoming a stay-at-home mom? Why the surprise and caution at starting a blog? Well...if you knew me (hopefully many of you will get to know me over this next year at least) you know that one, I am not very computer saavy. Quite honestly, I am still in awe at the fact that I can send an attachment through email. Also...sometimes I felt that blogs were just another person's way to overshare their life. I mean isn't Facebook and Twitter enough? I still have friends who REFUSE to become a friend on Facebook for that same reason. Who cares what you ate for lunch today...really! Good for you...you bought bread on sale at Kroger today. Woopee!!! (and yes, I'm being sarcastic...but I'm sure I have been guilty of those overshare posts as well...so please, no one come back at me with a cut/paste of what I put on FB last month).
But, as with most things in life, things don't go as planned...and often you find that you naturally change to find happiness and keep it. So staying home for a bit is my way of "changing" to find happiness. I love this verse from Proverbs 16:9 that is speaking to me right now: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Really...staying at home and starting a blog was not a "chicken or the egg" scenario by any means. This was a quite simply cause/effect at it's finest.
Cause= Last year teaching full time in a NEW job as a special education teacher (I was previously teaching 3rd grade for four years before...got my Master's in special ed and a job opened up right after I had Noah...so why not take a new job with a newborn?...all you new or expectant moms out there LISTEN...DO NOT MAKE LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS until your newborn is at least 6 months old. You can not trust "new mom" hormones. Really...)
Effect= crying the first two months of new job at not only the new stress but also only seeing my 4 month old about 1-2 hours a day awake
Cause= a beautiful, smiling, happy little boy named Noah who stole my heart
Effect= made going to work that much more difficult and made me seriously contemplate staying home
Cause= wonderful, supportive husband who wants me to stay home (since working is making me miserable)
Effect= made the decision that much easier
Cause= took a one year unpaid leave of absence
Effect= breathing easier, looking forward more than ever to June 16th (last day as a teacher for a bit...)
Cause= being home about 2 weeks with my little one (and my husband who is also a teacher)
Effect= questioning every decision I make and wondering what we're going to do all summer!
Cause= Noah throwing mini-tantrums at 14 months and getting "bored" easily
Effect= Mommy started looking online for other mom forums to get advice and also feel like I'm not the only one going through this
Cause= The need to still feel validated, valued, and not alone (especially when my 14 month old is throwing a mini-tantrum on the carpet and we've been home ALL DAY...)
Effect= signing up to "blog" and "overshare" the ups, the downs, the joys, the tears of being home with my darling son Noah and baby #2 (on the way around Christmas!)
Through this little post I hope to connect with friends, family, and hopefully other stay at home and working moms for advice, comfort, and some laughs along the way. Right now...I am enjoying the quiet of the evening as I just put Noah to bed. Time to clean up toys strewn around the living room...before watching some Office reruns on TBS (and yes, that was another "overshare"). :-)