The Halfway Mark

It's so hard to believe, but the 20 week mark is here! With this pregnancy, I have commented on how "different" I have felt compared to Noah. I just can not believe how quickly this has all has gone. I'm over halfway there considering my C-section will be around 39 weeks. According to The Bump.com my little bundle of joy is now the size of a cantaloupe...and I believe it! Sleeping in certain positions has become uncomfortable and when he or she moves from side to side it feels like an actual cantaloupe is turning inside me.

I have had many people ask me..."will you find out the gender?" We didn't with Noah and don't plan to with this one either. It was so special to continue guessing throughout the nine months if we were to be blessed with a boy or a girl. I truly just want a healthy child to love.  Two boys would be so adorable...and a girl, well, a girl (surprise, surprise to me who had always wanted all boys) would be special for sure. Don't get me wrong...I am not going to type here and lie saying it's "easy" with this one to not know. There is a larger part of me this time that would love to run to Carter's tomorrow after the ultrasound and stock up on more blue outfits...or whip out the credit card and buy all the pink and purple I can get my hands on. :-) But...when all is said and done it's refreshing to know that I don't know it all. I truly can not relate to mothers who know the gender beforehand. From there the baby is no longer baby but "Sophia", "Brandon", or "Avery" even before meeting their parents. With this one, the surprise date is taken out since my C-section will be scheduled...so I want to leave a little mystery in there. We have the names picked out...but I already can't wait to hear Nick or the doctor tell me, "it's another boy" or "it's a girl." :-)

But let me also add this disclaimer as I'm rereading this post. I am not by any means judging (at least I don't mean to) those that want to know the gender and plan earlier. I just can't relate. With motherhood I have never felt so much "judgement" from other mothers, young and old, on how to raise your child, why you should or shouldn't work, why daycare is the devil or a godsend, why breastfeeding should be the only way to feed your child until they are one, what type of diapers you should use, when to vaccinate...the list goes on. Outside of a heated political debate...the dialogue of mothers between mothers can be downright mean at times. So any of you reading this while being 6 months pregnant and knitting your little "Emma" her first pair of pink baby booties...I am not judging you. If you are happy knowing that you have a daughter on the way...then good for you! And if it makes you feel better...while I'm shopping at Kohl's in the girls section holding adorable dresses and putting them all back on the rack because I can't buy them for my androgynous bundle of joy, I will think of you and be slightly jealous that you get to shop in the girls section months prior to her arrival filling her closet with sassy dresses, whimsical leggings, and fun tights. :-) 

So, is it a girl or a boy? Well...my guess is a girl based on feeling so different during this one, but who knows? My favorite words tomorrow on the ultrasound table will be "Michelle, your baby is developing normally" That is truly all I need to know until December...