The dictionary defines patience as "the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like". The Bible tells us that "patience" is one of the fruits of spirit along with love, joy, kindness, self control, peace, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness...(Gal. 5:22,23).
Why am I writing about "patience" today, you may ask? Well...thinking the title of my blog (stay at home mom) and the title of this post can pretty much explain this. Patience is something I have found to really be a challenge for me not only recently, but ever since becoming a mother...and especially after Noah turned one or so.
All too often, girls and women pre-children dream about motherhood as a blissful journey of peace, true happiness, and contentment...and while all these things can be true (at opportune times like nap time...) I'm finding out really, really quick all the things that people with children tell you...but you really don't listen and understand until you have your own! And I'm not even talking about the condescending (we know the type, ladies) moms who have raised "perfect" children because of how they went about rearing their children as opposed to your methods. I'm thinking now of all the times I have heard "veteran" mothers say things like "I don't miss the baby stage...", "motherhood is the toughest job there is", "kids can drive you crazy" or "I am so done having children!" Pre-Noah, I couldn't understand comments like that...how could you not want your child to stay a baby or when do you feel you have enough children? Well, ladies and gentleman, I am understanding those comments all too well lately and I'm only 18 months in with ONE child. I can only imagine that patience will be required exponentially as more children arrive and the older my children get...
With Noah approaching 18 months, patience is being taken to an entirely new level with time outs, tantrums, and more repetition than I have ever had to endure! I thought it was annoying and repetitive when I had to remind my 3rd graders...in April...the importance of writing their names on their paper. That is nothing compared to the repetition required to change the behavior of a toddler. There are times I would rather train a squirrel how to knit than have to show and tell Noah ONE MORE TIME not to throw his sippy cup on the floor...or how to eat (not dump food) on his plate...or grab that girls hair...or run out into the road...or throw his Lego blocks across the room for no reason...or color with his crayons and not eat them...and...and...and...
Deep sigh and breathe...
Yeah, you get the point. Patience is a virtue that every good parent needs to invest, practice, and work on no matter who you are. And the funny thing is I have always considered myself to have excellent patience, being an elementary teacher and special education teacher. That is part of your job qualification in fact in order to help your students learn. When introducing a lesson or skill, as a teacher you never assume your students will get it the first time...or even the second or third. They need practice, guidance, and encouragement to become independent and I pretty much had it down as a teacher...and then my job changed from teacher to mother and "patience" is having an entirely new meaning.
Just today alone, I have most likely said the word "no" over 40 times, taken deep breaths around 15 times, and have given Noah around 10 timeouts...and that was all before noon. Second guessing myself in the moment I wonder all the time if what I am doing is right or making any difference at all. But now that Noah is down for his nap, I have indulged in 2 chocolate chip-peanut butter cookies, and am reflecting on the word "patience" I am thinking of the positive changes I see in Noah's behavior from only a few short months ago and counting in my head all the positive communication I have given my little man...15 hugs, 12 kisses, sang 3 songs, and given 20 words of praise all before noon.
Yes, motherhood is a tough job and is requiring tons of patience...but here is a comment I have heard from multiple mothers even after a tough day that I can completely agree with 100%...
"and I wouldn't trade it for anything..."
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